Current Events

Congrats, cousin Chris. According to the Center for Statistics I Just Made Up, 55% of all marriages end in annulment, so if you make it to next week, you're ahead of the game.

And Now I Am One

Well, not me. This blog. I won't say how old I am in hopes that the flood of stupid teenyboppers who are certain to flock to this blog following Katy Perry-related searches will think I'm one of them, and give me a substantial portion of their parents' disposable income. So, congrats, blog. I'll hoist a beer in your honor. Thanks to Guest Informant for all the help over the year. And now, to commemorate this truly momentous achievement of not being dead, I'd like to highlight the things some noteworthy Americans accomplished at the ripe old age in question:

George Washington: Did not tell a lie. Also, could not talk.

Abraham Lincoln: Did not shave.

John Madden: Ate entire Turducken.

Gerald Ford: Bonked head on things.

Thomas Edison: Probably invented something.

Santa Claus: Yeah, he's American. Suck on that, other countries.

Joe Biden: Preparing for the office of the vice presidency, drooled on self.

Albert Einstein: Wait, was he German? Whatever.

There you have it. Congratulations on getting older, blog. I hope you weren't expecting anything nice. Or well-written. Now about that beer....

Clearinghouse: Yes, I Am Alive

On November 5th, a new keyboard was procured, so I can type once again. It's kind of nice. "But wait!" you're saying. "That was a week ago!" I commend you for your ability to use a calendar, and have an excuse. November is National Novel Writing Month, and I'm trying that, though I started behind and it hasn't gotten any better since. If you care, their website is www.nanowrimo.org , and my profile and excerpt and whatever is here. So that's why posts have been nonexistent. I'm getting the urge to vent, so the novel writing may be interrupted soon.

Other things: Ben, it's probably too late for Huck Finn help at this point, but if you need a hand with anything for class, throw up a comment or shoot me an email and I'll start up a post for it. I suspect that between myself, Uncle Rick and Cindi you'll have a hard time finding a book that none of us have read.

And baseball: It's season awards time. So far the Gold Gloves are out, and the people who vote for them are stupid and wrong. Probably a rant coming on that (And the other awards) at some point. Count that as a threat if you'd like.

My novel: Is a fairy tale featuring a nymph with hepatitis. You probably shouldn't read it. But thanks for asking.

Happy BP Day!

My copy of Baseball Prospectus 2009 is here! I'll resume normal posting in eight months or 624 (Really large) pages, whichever comes first.