Manifesto:

Greetings and salutations. It is with great pleasure (Mostly on my part. After reading an opening as bad as that one is, there can be no pleasure on your part) that I welcome you to this little piece of the internet, where I will write pretty much anything I feel like, and possibly some things I don't (If I'm feeling overly masochistic). Odds are the majority of postings here will be about things that make me happy (The Red Sox, books, alcohol, (crappy) jokes that are probably offensive to anyone with good taste) or things that make me more [globalized] than they probably should (Hell if I know, Julio Lugo). There will be way too much baseball and way too many digressions, and nothing resembling coherency. So why should you come here? Off the top of my head, probable reasons include you (personally) knowing me and/or being related to me, a strong inclination towards incoherency or a dislike of yourself, or possibly a lost bet. I'm not sure which of these applies to you, but if all three do, then may God have mercy on your soul. Amen.
So welcome! It's great to have you (personally) here, and I hereby pledge that if I ever figure out these computer things any better, I shall track you (personally) by your IP address and steal your identity.