Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Adventures In Anal Rententiveness

I'm sure most of you out there have, at one point or another, watched a bad movie. Odds are good it starred Eddie Murphy (Post-cocaine version). And that you did not enjoy the experience. But what of the elusive beast, the good bad movie? Here I am speaking of a movie which, while you watch it, is recognized as terrible by the brain, yet you remain enthralled. It is probable that alcoholic beverages of some kind are involved in this process. After many backbreaking seconds of hard research, I have determined some of the primary common characteristics shared by these lovable tragedies: 1) A terrible plot brought to fruition by actors and actresses who seem unaware of the stench emitting from the script. And 2) Way more special effects than are necessary. I am proud to say that I have in my possession a movie that succeeds admirably on both these counts. Behold, in all its glory:


It used to be called Dragon Wars, but after getting the bill
for the special effects they couldn't afford the extra letters.

A movie like this does not come along every day. It is a badly written, overproduced cinematic travesty, and deserves all the attention that should be foisted on films of its ilk. Which is why I shall now, whenever the mood strikes me, break it down scene by scene on this very blog. This is either the greatest idea ever, or the worst (I lean towards the first. The Official Girlfriend made a face that I presume indicates disagreement when I mentioned this idea to her). There is no middle ground. I would recommend drinking heavily while reading the recaps, as it might help get you in the right frame of mind. At the very least, this should be better than the actual movie.

3 comments:

George said...

A very funny post I give a 4 out o' 5!

lemming said...

submit to my greatness or prepare to do battle oh mikeish one...

lemming said...

Another bad/good idea by the Mike.