Friday, March 11, 2011

A Psychological Analysis of Avril Lavigne

Based on her newest single, "What the Hell". The lack of a question mark is hers, not mine. I read some Freud once, so I am totally qualified to do this. At least I'm as much of a doctor as this guy (Well, I can't find the video I want to go there. I'll give this an update when I do). Anyway, we're going to go through this song line by line. If you really don't like yourself and wish to hear it, here you are. And Avril, if you're reading this, I promise this will hurt me as much as it hurts you. If you're wondering why, click on that last link with the volume turned up. And now it begins.

You say that I'm messing with your head

Though we do not know the identity of the accuser here, we cannot completely dismiss their opinion of Avril's actions. And as people who are messing others around are often acting out some issues of their own, this is not a promising beginning.

All 'cause I was making out with your friend

Well Avril, you see, until very recently you were married (I, ummm, had to look that up. I swear). So, presuming the other in question is your ex, he would seem to have a legitimate complaint here.

Love hurts whether it's right or wrong

Clearly Avril is now trying to deflect the blame/guilt she feels for her make out session. "It's not my fault! It's love's fault!"

I can't stop 'cause I'm having too much fun

In Infinite Jest, 'too much fun' is used to describe self-demapping via an overdose of one's personal addictive substance of choice. Given the fact that she can't stop, it logically follows that Avril is planning suicide through excessive making out.

You're on your knees begging "Please stay with me"

Clearly Avril feels some anger towards her ex still, as she presents him as desperate to keep her around, even after she has confessed her suicidal plans and addiction to making out. Perhaps we should be psychoanalyzing him too. But anyway, their relationship being rather dysfunctional w/r/t ending might be due to the fact that he produced the majority of her new album after the divorce (See previous parenthetical). I'm sure that wasn't awkward at all.

But honestly I just need to be a little crazy!

Giving your problem a name is the first step, Avril. Good for you.

All my life I've been good, but now

Here Avril is claiming she is merely breaking the repressive societal bonds which have held her in check for the majority of her life, forcing her to adhere to a moral code she evidently does not believe in, though she still chooses to uphold it by giving it the designation of 'good'. Though considering she has been a famous music person/thing since her teens, I don't know how much we should believe this claim.

[Auto-tuned Tarzan howl]


I'm thinking what the hell

Thinking? I doubt it.

All I want is to mess around

Good for you. You've identified a want. That's a baby step towards being human. You know what? I'm content with offering a diagnosis now, because reading these lyrics is beginning to affect my quality of life. Based on my incredible background in the science of the mind (Not to be confused with 'Virus of the Mind,' which was a (bad) song by Heather Nova), I can say that Avril Lavigne is very clearly suicidally depressed. This could be for one of several reasons, which I will now list numerically:

1. The recent failure of her marriage, coupled with spending significant amounts of time with her ex in the recording studio.
2. The fact that the hook someone wrote for her song is that Tarzan thing, because good lord does that sound terrible.
3. The fact that said Tarzan thing is very clearly auto-tuned, implying that she can't actually sing it.
4. The fact that she lives in a world where someone would even want her to sing that.
5. The fact that she clearly either has the emotional make-up of a confused 12-year old or
6. Is pretending to relate to confused 12-year olds expressly for the purpose of manipulating them into giving her money.
7. The Tarzan thing again.

My Recommendation: Kill it. Kill it with fire.


UncleRick said...

Mike, I really wish you had not provided the link. Of course, I could not resist watching the video. Now I am washing my eyes and wishing for those 4 minutes of my life back. Why, Mike, why?

HOLLA(R) said...

Well, I didn't realize anyone would actually click the link. My sincerest apologies. Here is some brain soap for you: