Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Mel Kiper Watch

For those of you who don't know, Mel Kiper is an excitable man with plastic hair who spends the entire calendar year covering the NFL draft for ESPN. Needless to say, by the time the draft actually happens Mel is in a frenzy so complete that one of these years his hair will catch fire. After the draft, Mel grades how all the teams did, at which point ESPN staffers unplug him and store him in the basement in Bristol until next year. Mel has one day (Alright, the draft goes for two days. Whatever) he lives for, one single day in which to offer all the insight he has gained to us, the unwashed masses. So let's see how the teams did this year, broken down by letter grade:

A: 1
A-: 1
B+: 5
B: 8
B-: 3
C+: 6
C: 4
C-: 2
D: 2

The NFL Draft: Where everyone is above-average! Mel's actual quote about the Oakland Raiders, one of the teams to get the lowest grade, a D: The only reason Oakland didn't receive an F is because they did get some players. I am not making that quote up. The only way to receive an F from Mel is to sit in your seat and refuse to hand the comissioner an envelope with a name in it when he calls on you. And, finally, Mel Kiper has been analyzing the NFL draft for ESPN since 1984. And everyone gets a gold star! See you next year, Mel!


sox19_wheels said...

his hair is real....

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