Wednesday, December 9, 2009

And Now I Am One

Well, not me. This blog. I won't say how old I am in hopes that the flood of stupid teenyboppers who are certain to flock to this blog following Katy Perry-related searches will think I'm one of them, and give me a substantial portion of their parents' disposable income. So, congrats, blog. I'll hoist a beer in your honor. Thanks to Guest Informant for all the help over the year. And now, to commemorate this truly momentous achievement of not being dead, I'd like to highlight the things some noteworthy Americans accomplished at the ripe old age in question:

George Washington: Did not tell a lie. Also, could not talk.

Abraham Lincoln: Did not shave.

John Madden: Ate entire Turducken.

Gerald Ford: Bonked head on things.

Thomas Edison: Probably invented something.

Santa Claus: Yeah, he's American. Suck on that, other countries.

Joe Biden: Preparing for the office of the vice presidency, drooled on self.

Albert Einstein: Wait, was he German? Whatever.

There you have it. Congratulations on getting older, blog. I hope you weren't expecting anything nice. Or well-written. Now about that beer....

5 comments:

UncleRick said...

Happy Belated Birthday! Now about those Red Sox trade rumors...

Lemming said...

I forgot my password so I had to get a new account. I guess it's cool that your blog has been going for a while.

UncleRick said...

It sounds to me like your old pal, Lemming, is doing a little sucking up in the hopes that his latest web endeavor will get some reciprocal attention. End it now, Lemming! Your site stands on its own merit. Long live Pokey!

UncleRick said...

Oh, and keep up the good work, Mike!

HOLLA(R) said...

There's a link up to his site on the blogroll. He'll have to suck up a lot more to get more than that.