Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Great Moments In Marketing

Although I work at a fine French dining establishment, I do not feel the need to offer them extreme loyalty w/r/t grocery purchasing. Which is how I recently came to find within my fridge a quality jar of salsa from the competing company Hannafords, the salsa being the same brand. This salsa is, I would estimate, 30% crushed tomatoes, 70% water (It's like the earth in salsa form!). Awesome. The only reason I forced it upon my poor, unsuspecting palate is that quality salsa is evidently made from a combination of gold bullion and unicorn tears. Not being overly awash in money, store brands and sorrow it is. However, this bottle of salsa, as opposed to most of the other unsatisfactory models I have tasted recently, proved to be worth its weight in, well, salsa. How, you may well ask. Well, I'll tell you this: it certainly wasn't the salsa.

You see, per convention, this bottle features a label. Otherwise it would be naked. This label features a rather attractive picture of a tomato, reclining gracefully with an onion, garlic, and both red AND green hot peppers (Presumed marketing statement: "Think of the colors!"). Standard stuff so far, as those are fairly typical ingredients for salsa, even if this particular version features trace elements at best of all but the tomato. But then I noticed something. Written right there in the bottom-right corner of the picture, under all the vegetables (Or vegetables and fruit, if you want to be a real prick about classifying everything properly, scientist) are the words 'Serving suggestion'. Yes. I swear it says that. Nowhere on the label is there any picture of salsa. I can only assume that the marketing team either got really drunk the night before the picture was due and missed the deadline, or they had some sort of Road-To-Damascus-esque revelatory moment (Or possibly are in a crappy Jim Carrey movie) in which they saw the light, because they're right. I really should've just bought the component parts, and not the salsa.

3 comments:

Cindi Lynn said...

I'm glad you classified your fruit as I believe I might be the prick scientist in question(?).

My favorite homemade salsa is uncooked and very easy:
chop onion, jalapeno peppers, garlic, cherry or plum tomatoes and stir with honey and white wine vinegar.

Serve over some kind of steamed white fish ideally, but it's yummy on chips, too.

You're welcome.

Lemming said...

Hey a post! (rerun)

Amy and Fat B said...

make your own salsa you lazy critical bum.

I feel the same way though. If I can't afford Green Mountain Gringo ($4.50 a jar out here!) then I decide that I don't really want salsa. The crappy stuff is just...crap.