Yes, for those of you paying attention, this is a response to a comment I received on the Odalis Perez post a little while back. I was going to reply in kind, but I had a bit too much to say, and I have the option of replying this way. It's like power, but worthless. And I know that things can also get a bit chippy between Red Sox fans and Yankees fans, so I will do my part to elevate the discourse. I only hope that others follow suit. Here we go.
Bob you ignorant slut. Comparing Odalis Perez to Brad Penny is like comparing yourself to someone with the ability to put down the crackpipe for upwards of five minutes. They throw with different hands. I know that your addled wits cannot get themselves around a concept more difficult than where your next meal will come from, but I suspect that this fact is simple enough that it can penetrate through that dense material that serves as your skull. Beyond that even (And this is where you'll have to give up and wander off somewhere to drool on the closest piece of available furniture), the strategy employed by the Red Sox in signing Penny is in fact the absolute opposite of that which I recommend the Dodgers use w/r/t Perez, much like you are the exact opposite of a human being with a functional brain. As I stated in words that were incomprehensible to you (By which I mean polysyllabic), I advocated the Dodgers sign Perez for his reliable innings-eating, as their fifth starter currently consists of Jason Schmidt, with no prospect or serviceable minor leaguer ready to take his place when the inevitable happens and his arm falls off at the shoulder (They do have James McDonald, I suppose, but I'm not all that impressed with him). In much the same way you misinterpret any pity-filled smile as a sign of friendship, you decided this was the same thing as the Red Sox grabbing a good pitcher coming off an injury-plagued season, knowing that if he failed they have a talent-rich farm system they can dip into so that they don't have to play him anymore, the same way your eighth grade coach recruited players from the girls basketball team to keep you glued to the bench. You see, the Sox have one of the best farm systems in the game, with Justin Masterson, Clay Buchholz and Michael Bowden all repesenting pitchers who could immediately step in and provide value comparable to that expected from Odalis Perez (But much, much greater than that provided to the world at large by your mother's decision to not consider abortion). A pitcher like him makes no sense for the Red Sox. But Brad Penny, that is a different story entirely. Penny's win values from 2003 to 2007, in order, read as follows: 3.0, 2.7, 3.2, 3.4, 4.3. All much higher than your GPA. He fell off a cliff this past year due to injury, much the same way you continually fall off court-imposed wagons. This allowed the Red Sox to sign him to a one-year contract. In the worst possible case, he is more ineffective at pitching than you are at life in general, at which point the Sox simply pay him lump-sum and have him go away, knowing they have capable replacements. With a lack of other options, the Dodgers need someone durable so that they do not have to do the same. This is not an opinion, it's the way it is. If your feeble little pea-brain still disagrees with me, then you are an idiot. And I hope that you will keep the debate civil, you moron.